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Places to Find Your Future Girlfriend

My dad, John Gray, says that the best way to spark a conversation is to introduce yourself. Okay. That’s authentic enough but where do you go from there?

Instead, look to your mutual surroundings and ask her opinion on something. She doesn’t know you, but everyone has an opinion and if you give her a chance to express hers and you treat it with respect, well, that’s a great first impression.

You may be around women in these places but I don’t recommend approaching them with the intent to make them your girlfriend. Here’s why:

A Club or Bar: A woman’s defenses are up at a bar scene or party. It might be easier for you to get up the courage to talk to her when it’s made out of liquid but it’s not conducive to an authentic connection. Loud music, sexy clothes, and alcohol mean surface connections and games.

A Gym: Some women may feel differently but there is no way I want to be picked up when I’m sweaty and focusing on working out. There is already such an obvious connection to sex — tight spandex, sweating, breathing heavy, endorphins — that it just seems skeevy when a guy approaches. Women at the gym tend to be on guard.

Do you have a dog? If you do, there’s your in. Even if you’re babysitting your friend’s dog, it’s cool. Just say, “Hi. Oh, my goodness, your puppy is cute. This is Milo. I’m babysitting him for a friend.”

People who have dogs are immediately part of a community, and she will feel more comfortable opening up to you. That’s when you can follow up with, “My name is…”

If you don’t have a dog, feel free to approach a woman who has one and say hi to her pup. If that dog starts to wag its tail, you’re in.

Follow Through: “This was fun. If you ever want to do this again or even go for a cup of coffee, here’s my number. Text me and I’ll call you. It would be great to see you again.”

This is easy. Just ask, “What do you think of this piece?”

Exchange a few lines (nothing too pretentious, be honest) and then introduce yourself. Maybe continue the conversation to the next piece. Or maybe, if you know some stuff, walk up and say, “I love this time period. They…blah blah blah (fun fact).” Just don’t blah blah blah for too long or you might lose her.

This is all about shared interests and asking her opinion so feel free to let this inspire you for other locals.

Follow Through: “Well that was fun. I normally have to drag my friends to these things so it was nice to hang with someone who actually wants to be here. You know there’s a new exhibit happening over at the __________, I’d love to take you if you’d like to join me. Think about it. Here’s my number. Text me and I’ll call you.”

You don’t have to know anything about cooking to pick up a woman in a grocery store.

Hang around the produce section and when you see someone you like holding some produce, say something like, “Hey, I’m trying to eat healthy but I’m hopeless with this stuff. Can I ask you what you're planning for that [eggplant, mushroom, papaya]? Like how to prepare it?”

Now you’ve opened her up. You’re like a lost puppy and her guard is relaxed. She can give you advice on the eggplant and even some advice on the whole meal. Healthy cooking speaks to your values and that’s attractive. Once you’ve got her talking, you can introduce yourself.

This approach is all about asking for help in an area where you may not feel so confident, where you express some approachable vulnerability and set the stage for her to shine and be the expert. Feel free to let this inspire you for other locals.


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